When you spend years or even decades with the exact same person, it's inevitable. You can't escape it.
You will encounter conversation blah.
It's what happens when you're out at a great restaurant and spend 30 minutes talking about carpool logistics for your kid's next soccer game.
It's what happens when you talk more about the weather outside — "Wow, it's really windy today!" — than the emotional weather happening inside.
So what's the antidote to conversation blah?
Better questions.
Questions that break you out of autopilot and pull you back into appreciation, connection, and intimacy.
We've been telling couples this for years. But we kept hearing the same thing back: "Good questions are hard to come up with, especially when you're stuck in the funk of conversational blah."
For the last five years, we've been trying to solve that problem.
At first, we went analog. We designed a couples question card deck. We talked to manufacturers, explored distribution, the whole thing. But in the end, we realized we wanted to be in the relationship-author business, not the relationship-product-supply-chain business.
Fast forward to today, and we're thrilled to announce that we found a better way.
We just finished the first version of a free mobile app called Better Couple Questions. Think of it like a virtual deck of 350 of our favorite question cards for sparking deeper conversations, a resource you can access anytime, anywhere.
Here's how it works:
- Download the app from the Apple App Store.
- Tap the deck.
- Get a question.
- You and your partner take turns answering.
- Feel that upward spiral of connection that happens when your conversation deepens.
- Then tap again for another question and keep it going.
We now use the app on our walks, at the beginning of dates, and during long drives. For us, it's the perfect tool for breaking out of the rut of conversational blah, into fresh topics and deeper insights.
The app is completely free (no "upsells" or "in-app purchases"). We just wanted to give couples an easy, practical way to ask better questions.
If you want to try it out, tap here to download the app from the Apple App Store or search "Better Couple Questions" in the App Store.
If you have feedback or ideas for how to make it better, email us here.
And if you want to help us build momentum, take 30 seconds to leave a review in the App Store. This makes a huge difference by helping more people discover the app.
If you're an Android user wondering, "What about me?" we would love your help. We need 15+ testers on Android before the app can appear in the Google Play Store. If you want to join that list, send us an email here and we'll add you.
Nobody likes conversational blah.
We hope these questions give you a quick way to experience its opposite: more love, laughter, connection, and intimacy.